Hello, curious one, and welcome to SP and Me. Under the leadership of the inimitable Dr. Alphonse Mephesto, our dedicated team of scientists are exploring the next great frontier of biology: discovering what combination of South Park character DNA every person on Earth is made of. You are likely here because this question keeps you up at night, too. Excellent. To calculate your own South Park DNA composition, simply answer a series of questions, and we will deliver you your results posthaste!